Sex of the two-wheeled type

Man who had sex with bicycle sentenced

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/11/14/nbikesex114.xml&CMP=ILC-mostviewedbox

So, there is this guy across the pond who was so enthralled by his bicycle, he decided it was time to consummate the relationship.

"The court was told that alcohol was the cause of his problems, and he was placed under the supervision of a social worker and warned that if he re-offended he would be sent to prison."

I would like to think that there was an alternative problem, aside that one of actually (somehow) fornicating with not only an inanimate object, but one that has moving parts that might actually HURT! Now, I certainly do not mean to offend my BDSM friends out there, but a BICYCLE?

Incidentally, I giggled furiously as I read this article. Who needs waterboarding when you can have a spinning bicycle tire?