This is too brilliant! I dedicate this to my sister.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Delicious Anticipation
My contribution this week for 55 Fiction Friday (http://wordybitch.blogspot.com/)
She barely touches me. Not feeling her touch, but perhaps her breath as her lips glide over the hair on my skin. My body takes in a quick gasp of breath as she surprises me with the touch of her hand on my back. The delicious anticipation of the ensuing hours takes my breath away.
She barely touches me. Not feeling her touch, but perhaps her breath as her lips glide over the hair on my skin. My body takes in a quick gasp of breath as she surprises me with the touch of her hand on my back. The delicious anticipation of the ensuing hours takes my breath away.
I will never enjoy a flavored drink again...
Football-flavored sodas for sale (http://money.cnn.com/2007/09/28/news/funny/bc.apfn.jonessoda.newfla.ap/index.htm?cnn=yes)
I can think of quite a few flavors of sodas I would like to at least think about trying. However, the thought of drinking something labeled “perspiration”, “dirt”, or “sports cream” actually makes me vomit just a little bit in my mouth. I mean, really, folks!
I think that this is just going to have to be saved for one of those famous deck-night conversation where, after many cocktails, we can easily expand on the delights of flavored drinks. Personally, I have delighted in accidentally tasting perfume, body lotion, and suntan oil. Yum! Of course, partaking in the activities involved while tasting these not-so-palatable items certainly trumped the pain of the actual taste. And there have been occasion where sweat was involved, but at that point, it can actually be quite excitable.
I have never, however, though of locker-room sweat in the least bit sexy or desirable. Having grown up in locker rooms, I have vast experience in the smells that are closely associated with a not-so-fresh-right-after-a-game shower and changing space. And, so, to make my point one more time (here comes that vomit again), GROSS!
I can think of quite a few flavors of sodas I would like to at least think about trying. However, the thought of drinking something labeled “perspiration”, “dirt”, or “sports cream” actually makes me vomit just a little bit in my mouth. I mean, really, folks!
I think that this is just going to have to be saved for one of those famous deck-night conversation where, after many cocktails, we can easily expand on the delights of flavored drinks. Personally, I have delighted in accidentally tasting perfume, body lotion, and suntan oil. Yum! Of course, partaking in the activities involved while tasting these not-so-palatable items certainly trumped the pain of the actual taste. And there have been occasion where sweat was involved, but at that point, it can actually be quite excitable.
I have never, however, though of locker-room sweat in the least bit sexy or desirable. Having grown up in locker rooms, I have vast experience in the smells that are closely associated with a not-so-fresh-right-after-a-game shower and changing space. And, so, to make my point one more time (here comes that vomit again), GROSS!
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
The true art of fighting
Another news flash that just got my creepy mind going...I saw the headlines "Police Question Armless Man in Neighbor's Death" (http://www.wsbtv.com/news/14138164/detail.html). For those of you who might accidentally find this blog, read this blog, and become offended by this blog...too bad. There is a death involved, but this is still just entirely too funny to pass up. And you can always just change the channel…
So here's the deal: Evidently, two neighbors were arguing over a woman. Ok, nothing new there. Personally, I have never argued over a woman... perhaps about a woman, and certainly with a woman, but never over a woman. Anyway, the armless guy and the neighbor allegedly (according to a witness) somehow managed to get into a fistfight. Now THAT’s talent! Personally, if I ended up in a fistfight with an armless man, I would have to run. RUN, FAST, GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE. I mean, Come on folks, how can anyone face society after getting into a fight with an armless guy. I can just imagine what was going through this guy’s (the guy with arms) mind. Not there wasn’t any “duck” or “POW!” or anything like that.
Embarrassing. Spineless. Demented. These are some words that come to mind. Then there are the other words that come to mind as the visual of this fight enters the previously mentioned creepy little mind.
OK, so these guys are fighting when the armless guy comes in full force and head butts the crap out of the “armed” guy. The armed guy dies shortly thereafter. So, the Snellville, Georgia Police Departments is questioning the armless guy to determine if any charges will be filed. If there are filed, I sure do feel bad for the prosecutor who is going to have to convince a jury that the armless guy should spend the rest of his life in jail. I wonder if they’ll have to add bars to the cell so the guy can’t slip through?
So here's the deal: Evidently, two neighbors were arguing over a woman. Ok, nothing new there. Personally, I have never argued over a woman... perhaps about a woman, and certainly with a woman, but never over a woman. Anyway, the armless guy and the neighbor allegedly (according to a witness) somehow managed to get into a fistfight. Now THAT’s talent! Personally, if I ended up in a fistfight with an armless man, I would have to run. RUN, FAST, GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE. I mean, Come on folks, how can anyone face society after getting into a fight with an armless guy. I can just imagine what was going through this guy’s (the guy with arms) mind. Not there wasn’t any “duck” or “POW!” or anything like that.
Embarrassing. Spineless. Demented. These are some words that come to mind. Then there are the other words that come to mind as the visual of this fight enters the previously mentioned creepy little mind.
OK, so these guys are fighting when the armless guy comes in full force and head butts the crap out of the “armed” guy. The armed guy dies shortly thereafter. So, the Snellville, Georgia Police Departments is questioning the armless guy to determine if any charges will be filed. If there are filed, I sure do feel bad for the prosecutor who is going to have to convince a jury that the armless guy should spend the rest of his life in jail. I wonder if they’ll have to add bars to the cell so the guy can’t slip through?
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Popsidoodle
Today is my Dad's birthday. Unfortunately, he is physically no longer with us to receive the five million phone calls from his children and grandchildren. This is my first experience of not being able to call him, as he left us last November. I didn't think it would bother me too much: we stopped exchanging presents quite a few years ago. But I am finding myself missing him more than ever today.
Dad was tough on us, so we thought. He was the consummate Marine. However, this man loved his children and grandchildren dearly, and he absolutely and proudly adored his wife. As we all love and adore him.
So today, I wanted to share a little about my Dad (this is an excerpt from his Eulogy):
Almost everything you know about my dad was learned by his example. He was courageous, passionate, funny, and loyal. His love was completely unconditional and without remorse. He was a noble man who always wanted to do right.
His values, learned in the Marine Corps, never faltered or weakened. He believed in his God, Family, Country, and of course, the Corps. It's all he ever really held on to. It’s all he needed to believe in and he passed that along in everything that he did….to his friends, to his fellow Marines, and most importantly, to his family.
He thankfully married my mother. It really was a forgone conclusion. From that day onward, there was nothing else in this world that could break his connection with her. She was his everything, surpassing even the Corps. In the era where people gave up easily, my parents stuck through it all. They went on to create a family and a life.
And the best of him is sitting here with us today. My brother, who carries my father’s noble and courageous qualities; My sister, who carries the incredible ability to reach into and feel compassion for everyone she touches; and me.
My Dad was tougher than John Wayne, and funnier than Jerry Lewis. How on earth can I put into words what my father was to me? "Say what you mean, and mean what you say", "Familiarity breeds contempt", "What comes around, goes around", and especially "I'll do anything once" were all things that he continuously said while I was growing up. And he lived by them. His influence on us, and especially me, made a tremendous impact on our lives. He was steadfast in his beliefs and his opinions.
All his grandchildren adored their Grandfather. They will all hold their memories of their grandfather in a very special place. As much as my brother and I declare that it wasn’t fair, all the grandkids had my Dad wrapped around their fingers. And Dad loved it.
Dad always had a story. Many of which became bigger and better throughout the years. We grew up with everything from firefighter stories to Vietnam tales to the eternal tours of duty on the USS Guam. My favorites were how he won a bet by getting a date with my Mom, and how he got busted in rank for stealing telephone poles from the army.
Summer vacations included endless camping in North Carolina, visits to his beloved Capital (Washington), and who can ever forget the drive to Central America. We will always get to trump everyone for the “what I did on my summer vacation” stories, thanks to Mom and Dad.
All of his stories and adventures will live on through us. He will not be forgotten…he wouldn’t have that.
You see, he is still here with us and will always be. We are a reflection of him.
So this day is yours, Popsidoodle. This world is a much less colorful place without you. Semper Fi.
MSGT Clyde W. Sullivan, USMC, Ret.
Sept. 6, 1937 - November 1, 2006
Dad was tough on us, so we thought. He was the consummate Marine. However, this man loved his children and grandchildren dearly, and he absolutely and proudly adored his wife. As we all love and adore him.
So today, I wanted to share a little about my Dad (this is an excerpt from his Eulogy):
Almost everything you know about my dad was learned by his example. He was courageous, passionate, funny, and loyal. His love was completely unconditional and without remorse. He was a noble man who always wanted to do right.
His values, learned in the Marine Corps, never faltered or weakened. He believed in his God, Family, Country, and of course, the Corps. It's all he ever really held on to. It’s all he needed to believe in and he passed that along in everything that he did….to his friends, to his fellow Marines, and most importantly, to his family.
He thankfully married my mother. It really was a forgone conclusion. From that day onward, there was nothing else in this world that could break his connection with her. She was his everything, surpassing even the Corps. In the era where people gave up easily, my parents stuck through it all. They went on to create a family and a life.
And the best of him is sitting here with us today. My brother, who carries my father’s noble and courageous qualities; My sister, who carries the incredible ability to reach into and feel compassion for everyone she touches; and me.
My Dad was tougher than John Wayne, and funnier than Jerry Lewis. How on earth can I put into words what my father was to me? "Say what you mean, and mean what you say", "Familiarity breeds contempt", "What comes around, goes around", and especially "I'll do anything once" were all things that he continuously said while I was growing up. And he lived by them. His influence on us, and especially me, made a tremendous impact on our lives. He was steadfast in his beliefs and his opinions.
All his grandchildren adored their Grandfather. They will all hold their memories of their grandfather in a very special place. As much as my brother and I declare that it wasn’t fair, all the grandkids had my Dad wrapped around their fingers. And Dad loved it.
Dad always had a story. Many of which became bigger and better throughout the years. We grew up with everything from firefighter stories to Vietnam tales to the eternal tours of duty on the USS Guam. My favorites were how he won a bet by getting a date with my Mom, and how he got busted in rank for stealing telephone poles from the army.
Summer vacations included endless camping in North Carolina, visits to his beloved Capital (Washington), and who can ever forget the drive to Central America. We will always get to trump everyone for the “what I did on my summer vacation” stories, thanks to Mom and Dad.
All of his stories and adventures will live on through us. He will not be forgotten…he wouldn’t have that.
You see, he is still here with us and will always be. We are a reflection of him.
So this day is yours, Popsidoodle. This world is a much less colorful place without you. Semper Fi.
MSGT Clyde W. Sullivan, USMC, Ret.
Sept. 6, 1937 - November 1, 2006
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Money well spent
Okay, so I was, as usual, pursing through MSNBC when I found this article: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20581183/. I admit that I did not read it in its entirety, but one comment came to mind as soon as I saw the headline: DUH! I mean, really folks. Did someone actually spend money and time to determine if drug-taking, massive alcohol drinking, non-sleeping, partying rockers are more likely to die sooner than those who do not live such a invigorating lifestyle? I think that those funds just might have been put to better use for something like, hmmmmm, FEEDING SOMEONE!
I think that I'm going to apply for a research grant to find out a few more things such as:
If a person that is sitting still in vehicle that is moving 70 mph down the highway...are they really sitting still?
Or perhaps I'd like to study the effectiveness of 3-month calendars versus 1-month calendars.
Maybe I'd like to perform a study that will help us understand the psychology of using different sizes and colors of sticky notes.
More to come...as soon as I greatefully accept that grant funding to study why some people prefer to play Scrabble over Yatzee.
I think that I'm going to apply for a research grant to find out a few more things such as:
If a person that is sitting still in vehicle that is moving 70 mph down the highway...are they really sitting still?
Or perhaps I'd like to study the effectiveness of 3-month calendars versus 1-month calendars.
Maybe I'd like to perform a study that will help us understand the psychology of using different sizes and colors of sticky notes.
More to come...as soon as I greatefully accept that grant funding to study why some people prefer to play Scrabble over Yatzee.
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