Rules for Being a Marine's Daughter, Part I

In reference to the blog entitled “Rules for Dating a Marine’s Daughter” found at http://sgtredline.blogspot.com/2007/08/rules-for-dating-marines-daughter.html, here are my thoughts in respect to being that Marine's daughter:

Dad,
Don't forget that you are the person who taught me how to put a man in a fetal position with his eyes simultaneously bulging out of socket while rivers of tears stream down his face. This maneuver is called “swiftly kick him in the balls, honey”

You also taught my brother “the stare”. Yes, there is such a look that can come from my older brother that will not only terrify this prospective date, but will leave him having nightmares of the like that will require many thousands of dollars of therapy over the next twenty or so years.

You are the one, my dear father, who requires me to always carry that backpack full of duct tape, mace spray, and that wonderful little M1911A1 that you so carefully taught me to fire, accepting only expert scoring.

Don’t forget about career day at school Mr. TheGreatSantini, when you showed up in uniform and required all students to speak only when spoken to, sit correctly at their desks, and smile when ordered to…all in your best screaming- spitting-in-your-face-butting-your-hat-on-the forehead-Drill-Instructor voice (by the way, where did you get the Smokey bear cover?).

In all honesty, Dear Old Dad, I really appreciate your careful scrutiny of all those I wish to become involved with. And you were right when you explained to me (at 18) that no one will ever intimidate me again (boy, my drill instructors really appreciated that when it was my turn to vacation in Parris Island). But really, can you please stop bragging to my potential suitors that I can kill them 101 ways with a skilcraft U.S. Government issued ballpoint pen?